Curtains For Clunkers

The new national health care plan, Care Regulation for U.S. Households Enduring Rationing (CRUSHER) has run into trouble. It had been expected that this vehicle for delivering health care to U.S. citizens would result in better care and reduced costs for participants.

Unfortunately, many physicians have dropped out of this program due to lack of reimbursement. After only two months of operation, CRUSHER appears to be having cash flow problems. Since there are such limited funds available, the remaining MD's are offering seriously ill patients (jocularly referred to as "clunkers") an inexpensive way to end their suffering: a heart-stopping potion called MakeWay. MakeWay renders hearts unusable for organ transplant purposes, but such operations have become extremely rare (unaffordable).

The President has announced the end of all CRUSHER reimbursements at the end of next month. He says the program has accomplished its goal of raising the level of health in the population as a whole by reducing the number of "clunkers". He is considering a new, more focused, plan that would directly reimburse families of "clunkers" who elect to take the MakeWay formula.

The President is determined that this new "Cash For Clunkers" program will be even more successful than the original.

The Voice Of The People

At town hall meetings around the country, people are speaking out about health care, and about the takeover of this nation by a cadre of elitists who care nothing about the traditions that made this a great country.

People are asking politicians, our supposed representatives, who they think they are, preaching to us instead of listening to us.

The responses are chilling. They call us mobs, swastika-bearers, shills for the GOP...anything but what we are: American citizens who are fed up with our government and its efforts to micromanage our lives. We look at what has happened since January 21, and we're appalled and fearful of what more could be done to ruin the fabric of the United States of America.

We look at videos of the town hall meetings and see people being pushed around by thugs. Are these bullies the precursors of Barack's civilian army? How else will he keep an unruly citizenry in check?




It would be a lot easier to keep us in line if all our health records resided in Washington, and we were at the mercy of bureaucrats when faced with life-threatening illnesses. Sounds like a plan.

Oregon Health Plan Says "Drop Dead"

Barbara Wagner, 64, of Oregon, is suffering from lung cancer. She had been in remission, but her oncologist found that her cancer had returned, and prescribed an expensive drug, Tarceva, that could prolong her life. The Oregon Health Plan refused to pay.

Instead, they sent a letter offering hospice care, or drugs so that her physician could assist her suicide. Administrators overrule physicians in this plan, a harbinger of the national health plan Congress seems hell-bent on foisting on us, despite being regularly lambasted by their constituents at town hall meetings.

Other Oregon residents have had similar experiences. Barbara, however, is one of the lucky ones: Genentech, manufacturer of Tarceva, has agreed to supply her with the drug for free. So, the evil capitalist drug company shows more compassion than the State-run health plan.

Royal Pain

Great Britain's National Institute of Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE)has put strict limits on painkilling injections for back pain sufferers.

If the cause of back pain is unknown, doctors are ordered to offer patients remedies like acupuncture and osteopathy. This could lead thousands of people to suffer excruciating pain if they can't afford expensive private treatment, but could save the National Health Service (NHS) 33 million pounds per year.

The British Pain Society maintains that many patients will end up undergoing risky and unnecessary surgery under the NICE guidelines. Or they could end up addicted to opiate drugs. Society members are so outraged that they have removed Dr. Paul Watson, who helped write the guidelines, from the Presidency of their organization..

Cancer patients in the UK have it even worse. Only 1 in 5 doctors tell these patients about drugs that could prolong their lives, but that aren't approved by the NHS because of their high cost. The cost of a drug is compared with the time it could prolong life. If it is too high, you don't get it. Doctors fear telling patients they could live longer, but only if they can come up with a lot of cash.

This could easily be happening in the USA in a few years. The President supports a national health board to make decisions on our medical care. The wild 'stimulus' spending occurring now will mean cost-saving measures will be necessary.

The stimulus we need is the mandate that Congress must enroll in any new national health plan they decide to pass.

Man Made Global Inundation

Yes, you read it right. Mankind is responsible for yet another natural phenomenon.

Large amounts if particulate matter in the atmosphere, caused by human activity, are causing an abnormally high number of raindrops to form; they then fall to earth in such quantities, that we are in danger of total inundation!

In light of the seriousness of this situation, which could lead to our all being swooshed off the face of our planet, President Boobama has taken swift and decisive action.

Since particles float about in the atmosphere, it's nearly impossible to trace them to their source, and force the producers to snare the little devils before they can do any harm.

Therefore, Boobama has ordained a new tax on property owners, assessed according to the amount of rain that falls on their land and buildings. Each property owner must install a digital rain gauge, which will then be connected to a network and routed to the IRS.

The IRS will establish a database of each taxpayer's land holdings, and calculate total rainfall for each property. The exact tax rate per gallon has not yet been established, but with every new Boobama measure to 'save our economy', it will undoubtedly get higher.

A ray of sunshine: tax credits for those who build swimming pools and other structures that will capture and hold excess rainfall.

The Voice Of Reason

In the matter of Henry Gates, Jr., our foolish and arrogant President behaved exactly the opposite of someone who is above racial politics. Eyewitnesses attest to Gates' pugnacious behavior. Photos clearly show a black officer at the scene, who in no way appears to be upset by Gates' arrest.

Yet President Oblivious pronounces that the Cambridge police acted "stupidly". I beg to differ. Sergeant Crowley, by all accounts, is an exemplary policeman, and his is the voice of reason.



Now the President is backpedaling, talking about having a beer with Crowley. Strictly Amateur Hour.